Vishal Jaiswal
Most people want someone special in their life. Someone to caress them, talk sweet things to them, surprise them, control them, shower care upon them. They are animated by the hope of finding their knights in shining armour. We come across a lot of people every day who change themselves to their lover’s whims.
We are rudderless when we have an inconsistent change within our self. Without a sense of direction we feel dissatisfied with our life and the ideals of love we believed in. This is a quagmire for any relationship. When we see things going wrong with their relationship, we immediately want to discard their partner. Such a feeling can lead to the conclusion that the relationship may not sail for long. However, just as each day at work may not be pleasant, things in a relationship may not be pleasant. And as we work a way out and put in earnest efforts to improve things, it is equally important to talk and work a way out to improve things in a relationship. So why not do it? When you weren’t in a relationship, you were longing for it. So now when you have it, you need to acknowledge its importance. You just can’t resign from it.
Relationships blind us to the fallibility of the other. And what if the other person were indeed everything you ever wanted. Just imagine, how monotonous it would be to live with something so perfect? But, that doesn't mean that things have to be imperfect in relationships. After seeing life for seven years among LGBT’s, I firmly consider the following two elements to be important.
First, we need to have the will to evolve together into better people. Second, we also need to set realistic goals and thus be content with our life. We need to live and enjoy the essence of a relationship. We need to continue to surprise; go out of your way to show that you care; love your partner just the way you did before you committed or proposed to each other. A relationship cannot be clinched with a proposal; it is actually the beginning of a process.
What most of us do is assume our love for each other and so refrain from expressing it. Nevertheless, showing your feelings will always keep the mojo going.
It’s a human tendency to look for certain characteristics in their ideal partner. Physical attributes, brands, wealth, habits and social status are some of them. Did you for once imagine the picture ‘perfect’? Like they say, "life is not a fairytale". Love can be found in the most imperfect person. It is only your sense of being content with it that will help you relish your relationship. Loving the imperfect might be the most difficult thing to do but what’s worse is to learn that a perfect person might not love at all. You might never find the perfect person to love but you can surely find perfect love in what you think is imperfect.
I recollect a very beautiful couple I had met a few months ago. Vikram and Santosh had met each other eleven years ago. They have been in a relationship ever since. Sexual compatibility is considered to be important in a relationship. When I met them, I learnt that they were not sexually compatible and had extremely opposite tastes in everything. Nevertheless, they were open enough to respect those differences and if there was something new to try, they would do it –food for thought – yes, for everyone whose longest relationship has lasted three days.
The mantra was – ‘contentment’. Every time your ‘will’ breaks, you also lose the sense of being ‘content’ and you start looking around again. The cycle never ends.
I do not intend to discourage you from finding your perfect one. It’s just to convey a message for those of you who are not able to see the perfect in the most imperfect.
Love yourself and love will find its way to you.
Vishal goes totally berserk when he sees chocolates! He also gets a great kick out of stealing Jockey ads from shops.
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